freewrite 13/10/18

everything feels cluttered and lost. you're not sure what to make of how your brain feels at this moment in time, it's hard to think of anything. a bright white fills your eyes – is it light, limbo, heaven? all three? your thoughts swell even more. nothing's broken but at the same time it feels like everything in your body is shattering to pieces, torn beyond ruin. a moment to pause. you float, looking down below into an endless bright void, but you seem to be forbidden from going down. you're unsure why. you don't even want to, you just know you can't.

you continue to remain motionless, thinking is way too hard. what's even going on? you don't know, and it seems like you can't know.

drum roll please!

i push my foot off the door and make a break for it, out of the yard gates and through the narrow pathways that lined my street. these weren't usually too busy but this was the first school run of the year so it was chock full of small children, prams, parents talking to other parents in the middle of the path for 2 hours, the works. it was going to be tricky to get past all of this... but there wasn't really much of a choice, lest i be late for my meeting. there was a trick here – dodge left for the children, dodge right for the prams, and jump for the parents. yes, it sounds ridiculous, i know, but it was like something from some kind of game where everyone seemed to be in the same positions on the pathway.

reached the junction. this was much tricker – now i had cars to deal with. this was a roundabout junction with no crossings in sight – getting past is like a game of fucking frogger. it's all about guesswork. luckily i didnt need to go far – the meeting was dead center hidden in the roundabout, disguised by all the bushes and trees. i stepped out and moved quickly like a ninja, clearing as many lanes as i could as fast as possible. near miss. i slid over a yellow car, cruising past its hood, rolled underneath another passing car, and made a sprint for the end. as my feet touched the roundabout grass i did a small cheer, having made it past the deadly junction. the meeting was ready and waiting for me.

pushing tree branches out of my way i crouched down and sneaked through, making it into the middle where two friends were waiting. slap bang in the very middle was a small wood fire, giving the area a cozy warm feeling. my two friends [acer and pulse] were talking about a new game that had been released that day, pink cat adventure. i'd heard about it. seemed like a decent enough platformer with some floaty challenging controls.

there was still someone yet to arrive – our leader, who seemed to be taking a while. they were usually the first ones here. after a couple of minutes passed we heard rustling and a set of hands poked through into our hidden circle.

“phew, sorry i'm late lads.” they said. t'was our leader. “got stuck in traffic and had to deal with some bad energy thoughts. let's start the meeting.”