freewrite 03/12/18

you don't remember anything.

neon lines seem to circle around and entrap you in waves, coming back and forth, restricting and tying around your hands and body and seemingly lifting you upwards – though the black space surrounding gives no clue to that. you wish you could remember when you were a good person. lines tighten and choke, skin slowly turning blue as the blood in your body refuses to flow. you stay still. somehow you're okay with this. you feel as if this is what you have deserved for so long despite everything else around you saying otherwise. you wish you could remember a time when there was even just a small amount of hope in your head, but it all seems to have faded away. even when things were getting better there was part of you that just knew it would get so much worse, and you refused to listen to it. it was right. the neon lights slowly dim, their life fading. all you can do is watch as their colors fade, leaving you trapped and constricted alone. this is okay. you're absolutely fine with this.